I had this recurring nightmare as a child

Some spooky, some screaming ones, some burned in my mind

One thing will always go back and forth in my brain

to wake up in a cold sweat

I used to call out in my sleep

“I’m afraid…! I’m afraid of…”

The loneliness…

That’s scary.

No one could hear me and there was no door out.

I’m just afraid a part of my life will be taken away

Not finding your way out, just being there

Not getting out and you have no control.

I have a terrible fear…

Being buried alive.

Oh shit imagine if something just stops working and I’m just trapped in here

How long would it take for them to come rescue me?

Getting stuck in one place, being forced to be somewhere.

If they were really clones… I wouldn’t know.

That would suck.

But nobody’s there. Everyone left me. Everybody gone.

Not getting out and you have no control

the walls became smaller and smaller,

Screaming so bad…

I know one thing that just terrifies me

I’d slice the cake and…

my mother’s head would be in the cake

The spider screamed “CONTINENTICIDE!” and then ate me

I don’t know why.

My worst fear is the future

All the worst things that have happened to me have been from me…

I am the person who has fucked up my life the most.

Ending up in the wrong place and being forced to stay there…

It was terrible and I didn’t know what to do.

I don’t like interpreting dreams,

but…

I survived somehow, so…

I overcame the fear

and I knew it was all OK…

I probably have this nightmare still but just can’t remember it

I just took a deep breath and just enjoyed it.

 

Written by Berlin, curated by Lora of Berlin Untelevised for the monthly project Voices of Berlin.

Poem from My Worst Nightmare collection for Voices of Berlin

 

Voices of Berlin is Berlin Untelevised‘s monthly Lives project. This project is to show the connection behind real lives within this both crazy and wonderful city by asking it’s many residents one question or theme a month. Our ultimate goal is to curate a collection of accounts on many topics, ending each month with an abstract poem created through that month’s selection of responses and, thus, transform Berlin into a poet.

Remember to read the collection of accounts that contributed to February’s My Worst Nightmare poem hereIf you’re a Berliner, find out how to add a contribution by emailing the editor of Lives at lorathepoet(@)gmail.com. 

The theme for March will be Autonomy.

Catch up with January’s project How I Stay Alive by reading the collection and poem here.